sing sing sing.

First, and most importantly, God is so good. My heart is continuously changing and I am constantly growing into the person He is calling me to be. Not by anything that I am doing but by His grace and love for me. I am finding my place in Murray, KY. Over the past month and a half, God has blessed me with some of the most beautiful people I have ever met. He is building community all around me and providing opportunities for me to serve Him all the time. Something I have been praying for since I came to Murray is to be surrounded by believers and really get connected with people with are running hard after the Lord. Friends, He has been sooo faithful! It took me being patient, overcoming some fears and selfishness, and putting my whole heart into things but I have experienced first hand that our God is a God who provides! Since I first visited Murray I knew it was where I was supposed to be but for the first time, I truly FEEL it! I am truly amazed by how the Lord is changing my heart and building these awesome relationships around me. I am doing All Campus Sing with BCM (Baptist Campus Ministry) and I can't tell you the theme but I can tell you it is AMAZING. Eyes are going to be opened! I've also started doing a leadership study with BCM and God is really putting things in my face and laying it all out there. I'm seeing sin in my life that has been there for a long time that I didn't even realize and I'm starting to see where God wants me and who He wants me to be. I've started to really build solid friendships with people there and I can't wait to see how the Lord uses us! Last weekend, I went on Spring Retreat with Campus Outreach to Jackson, TN and it was seriously EXACTLY what I've been needing for so long. We had parties and worshiped and built relationships and learned more about God's character and serving Him. There are so many great people on this campus that are truly seeking after the Lord and it excites me so much. Since the retreat, I've gotten coffee and lunch with a few people and had some great discussions about our Maker. Community is springing up all around me and God is working in HUGE ways. AHHHH I am so pumped, friends. God is really laying some things on my heart, super heavily, and I know He has big plans for my life, I can just feel it! I want to make disciples of all nations and spread the love of Jesus all around! I am on fire for Christ right now and it's been far too long that I've been living the lukewarm life. I commit to giving Christ my everything and serving Him wholeheartedly. He created me, He loved me before I was even on this earth, He gave His blameless Son so I could live and be with Him. Ya'll, I will never understand this but I will give my life to know Him even a little better. I desire to follow Him with every ounce of me. All of my strength, all of my heart, all of my mind, and all of my soul for His glory, alone. I will not be content until all know who our Savior is. I will GO until He comes, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He stops me. I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. 

THEN JESUS CAME TO THEM AND SAID, "ALL AUTHORITY ON HEAVEN AND ON EARTH HAS BEEN GIVEN TO ME. THEREFORE GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES OF ALL NATIONS. BAPTIZING THEM IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, AND THE SON, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT; TEACHING THEM TO OBEY EVERYTHING I HAVE COMMANDED YOU. AND SURELY I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS TO THE VERY END OF THE AGE. MATTHEW 28:18-20

it's been a very long time since i've blogged.

my first semester of college was one of the biggest struggles of my life. i felt very alone and had a hard time keeping my faith strong. i felt far away, emotionally, from everyone i knew and when i got hurt even a little bit, i built my wall back up towards God and all of my closest friends. the hardest part of it all was that i faked my way through. anyone that asked how i was doing was given the answer, "great". the majority of these people, i'm sure, could see right through me but kept to themselves. i think a major problem for me was that i was living in the past. senior year was the greatest time of my life. i had an awesome community surrounding me and i was living for the Lord. over the summer, life got even better when i went to work crew. there, i met the greatest people i've ever known, had awesome fellowship, and grew so much closer to God than i had ever been. so imagine how hard it was to go from that to a college where i hardly knew anyone. i had such big expectations for my first semester and when none of them happened, i was angry. over winter break, i went to a reunion with all of my work crew friends, and for the first time in a long time, i was honest with myself and with God. at that point, i decided some major changes needed to happen. i asked God to invade my heart once again and to break down the walls that i built back up around it. i decided that i was going to stop living for myself - stop seeking my own glory - and finally get back to what really mattered in my life; JESUS CHRIST. i cant tell you all how grateful i am that our Father is so forgiving and loves us so incredibly much. he never ceases to amaze me. when i look at my first semester of college, i am so disappointed in myself and i just cannot comprehend how he still loves me after all the times i slapped in the face. yet, i know he does. i know he is rooting for me and is tugging me along telling me that there is more to this life and more i have to do for him. i know we've only had about three weeks of this new year, but already i feel him working. (now that i'm finally letting go of control) in such a short amount of time, he has brought my best friend and i back together for his purpose and started building community here in college. in one week, he introduced me to new friends who are so passionately living for him and gave me opportunities to have honest fellowship with them. i can feel how much bigger he is than i make him out to be. i dont want to live for myself anymore. i want to live for his purpose. i am surrendering all of me to glorify his name, no matter what that takes. i am so so so thankful for a God who picks me up when i fall and never leaves my side. he died for me so i will live for him. 


love forever and always.

something has changed within me.

i just needed to vent a little bit. so to start, i am having such a wonderful time in college. i have become super close with two great groups of people and feel really at home when i'm here. one group keeps me on my toes and keeps my faith strong. they always lead me closer to christ and i couldn't be more grateful for that. the other group is curious and growing and just really fun to be around. but i also still feel really tied to people at home and i feel like my closest friends have sort of detached themselves from me. i understand things get crazy sometimes and we are all really busy but i wish they could make time for me. just because i'm far away doesn't mean i don't need/want them in my life anymore, especially people who have been such a huge part of my life for the past year. even my "good" friends have become closer to me than my "best" friends since i've moved to murray and i just don't understand that.

onto a different subject...

i just cant let go of this one thing and it drives me crazy. i know everything happened for a good reason and neither of us were in a good place at the current time. we were in no way fit to be in a relationship together when we were both struggling with christ. but there are so many things i didnt get to say before it ended. ive tried being friends with this person but they say its "awkward". i dont understand that what so ever. were we not friends prior to dating??? apparently not good enough friends to continue the friendship. i made a lot of mistakes in that relationship by being pushy and probably a little over-bearing at times but my intentions were good. my eyes have been opened to a lot of things that went wrong but i still miss him despite those things. i just want to talk things out and see how he's doing. but i guess if its right, it will happen. i hate that i have to make a conscious effort NOT to think about him. ugh.

in good news, God is doing great things here in murray and i am so grateful for the friends i have made. thanksgiving is in three days and i will be home tomorrow. it is going to be a great weeks. some quality time at home is much needed.

love always.

how marvelous, how wonderful.

oh my my my. this has been a beautiful week. one of my dearest friends gave her life to Christ this week and it has been such an amazing thing to witness. i think new believers are such an encouragement to our own faith. it's incredible how God does a work on their heart almost instantaneously! this girl has been so lost and confused for a long time and after some one on one time with her, a message at co, and a lot of prayer, she finally realized what she was missing. on tuesday night, i got to spend an hour worshiping with her! her heart was literally broken for God! she had so much passion that night and it was so inspiring. the lord has been working hard all around me. i've felt his presence more than ever this week. maybe i am seeking him harder than usual, i'm not quite sure. whatever it is, it's been fantastic. i feel fully alive and very excited for things that are happening here at murray. i'm getting closer to a wonderful group of girls and i know we will be friends forever... i just have that feeling!

lately, i've been extremely upset over a boy and i hate this. i want to be at peace with being single and grow closer to Christ. i know that i need this alone time to get back on track and the last thing i need is something to distract me from that. but i can't control my feelings. i desire so badly to stop liking this person because i don't know where it is going or if it is going anywhere at all. i just feel very frustrated with the whole situation. my "feelings" always get me into a lot of trouble. i'm praying for God to quench my need to feel loved and to have somebody there. i need to remind myself that he is preparing someone that i will spend forever with; someone who will pursue me; someone who has christ-like qualities and will push me towards my Savior, daily. i know this person exists and i have to remember God is faithful to those who love him. i'm keeping my eyes on the prize, father. let them not stray towards relationships or acceptance but only towards you and your glory.

hope you enjoy these pictures of our lord's creation. feel free to share any pictures that you find or places you've enjoyed God this week (: peace and blessings.

random post for this cold monday.

25 things about me (:

1. Ever since June 2008, I've been living my life for Jesus Christ. It's a crazy/joyful/beautiful adventure that is anything but easy. But I know what my purpose is and how could I ever turn away?

2. I am super impatient 90% of the time. It's something I need to work on.

3. College has been super scary and strange but I am learning so much about myself and my relationship with Christ.

4. I have met the most beautiful people ever in Murray, KY. They make my world complete (:

5. I miss my best friends in Lexington everyday of my life.

6. Younglife has impacted my life in too many ways to count and I will be forever grateful for what God has done through that organization.

7. I podcast the services from Southland because I miss it so much and I believe so much in that church and what it is doing in the community.

8. I have the world's best roommate! We always have so much fun together and she puts up with so much from me (: BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL girl!

9. Fall is my absolute favorite time of year! I love the leaves changing and Halloween and Thanksgiving and it getting cooler outside. (as long as it stays above 40!)

10. I miss a lot of people who, at one point or another, I was very close with but I know they impacted my life and have helped shape me into the person I am.

11. I love the word beautiful. I think there are so many people who use it to describe something that can be seen but I believe it is something so much deeper than that.

12. I really really wish that I hadn't gotten hurt cheerleading my junior year.

13. I wish that people didn't rush to grow up. Being young is so much more fun (:

14. One of my biggest pet peeves is fake people. I hate when someone acts one way when you first meet them but you quickly find out they are the complete opposite.

15. I hatehatehate depending on people for things. I've been disappointed too many times in my life.

16. I don't think I have a particular style. I just wear whatever I feel like wearing.

17. I get along with the majority of people I meet. It takes a lot for me not to like you.

18. One of my biggest flaws is that I am a people pleaser. The majority of time, I put others feelings in front of my own and although that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's not always beneficial for my own happiness.

19. I know what I want to do with my life but I know that God's plans are bigger than my own. So I'm learning to just sit along for the ride.

20. When I fall for someone, I fall hard. But I try not to let my feelings show so I don't end up getting hurt.

21. I think that every person is good deep down. We all just make mistakes because we believe the lies that the world tells us.

22. I have fallen in love with Murray. It's such a simple, pretty place to go to college. But I would never want to live here after college is over.

23. After college, I would love to travel the world and then move somewhere south like Georgia or South Carolina.

24. Some of my closest friends are scattered all over the country and my heart literally hurts when I think of how much I miss them. December 27 is going to be the greatest day of my life.

25. I am a happy little girl and I have been truly blessed with a wonderful life and fantastic friends. What more could I ask for?! (:

for you - i sing, i dance.

so for the past few weeks, i have been struggling with temptation very badly and last weekend i fell into it. there hasn't been any external pressure what so ever. all of the people i hang out with know my beliefs and know that i don't drink. the pressure was entirely eternal. i let satan take an inch and he ran with it. since then, i've been so torn. what happened? where did i decide to turn my back on God? i've been lifting up my worries to our Lord and praying for him to take the desire to sin from my heart and to reveal his purpose in this hard time in my life. i know that God didn't cause this but i know that he can take the mistakes that i make and turn them into learning and growing experiences. i've been asking my brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for me this week because i believe whole heartedly in the power that prayer has. last night, i had a long, wonderful conversation with my dear dear friend jimmy. he is someone who i know is very close to the Lord and i know God uses him to push me to the limit and break my heart. after that conversation, i felt a lot more at peace than i had all week long. thank the Lord for honest, loving friends! after my conversation with jimmy, i went to campus outreach (a ministry that i am beginning to fall in love with). nate discussed records; past, present, and future and how we believe those records give us eternal life. we rely on our own deeds to become closer to God when we know that Jesus is the only way. in this, i realized where i fell. i have been relying on the "christian" things that i do in my life such as going to church, reading the bible, worship, bible studies, etc. instead of relying on Christ. i can't even explain how God used nate to pinpoint this problem in my life. it was incredible. after the message, one of my close friends broke down and told me she feels lost and as if she has no purpose in her life! God literally broke her heart!!!! i got to speak truth into her life and tell her how God has saved my life. she saw first hand that christians are no where near perfect and that we don't have to make ourselves clean for God to love and accept us. my friend kaci and i got to pray together for her and i lost it! THIS IS IT FRIENDS! this is where joy is found. this is why we follow Jesus Christ. he is so incredibly faithful, merciful, and full of grace! PRAISE HIM! i am finding community and seeing God in ways that i never have before. i am learning to follow and trust in the Lord with my whole heart. what a blessing it has been to feel broken. God is the way, the truth, the LIFE! our happiness can only be found in Him and how wonderful it is that he will never fail us! friends, i feel truly alive again. i can't wait to see how God uses me on this campus and how i grow over these next few years!

these are some pictures of my favorite season! i hope your day is filled with the love and joy Christ brings and you see Him in new and interesting ways today. LOVE ALWAYS.

college!

at this exact moment in my life, i feel extremely blessed.

i just feel so surrounded by Christ

and he has been providing me with the greatest community.

i recently started going to campus outreach

and that has been such an awesome thing.

i've been meeting so many people who are alive in Christ

and truly living their lives for him.

also, i started a small group a couple weeks ago

and God has put some wonderful girls together

to learn about him and grow with each other.

the book we are reading through really just

meets you where you are and has been so helpful

and uplifting.

this week, we talked about prayer and our "quiet time"

with Jesus; what it looks like and how to improve it.

i am truly learning so much about my heart

and who i am in Christ.

he never ceases to blow my mind.

last weekend, i got a new roommate!

she is one of the most beautiful people i have ever met.

she is energetic, funny, and will always tell you what's on her mind.

i have come to appreciate these types of people.

it is much easier to solve a problem when you know what it is.

this week, i have felt more at ease and more myself

than the past month and a half combined.

i cannot wait to see what God has in store for our friendship!

this is the verse i have been reflecting on for the past week

and gaining encourage from. i hope it speaks to your heart (:

Psalm 37:1-11

Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong
for like grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their wicked ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret - it only leads to evil.
For evil men will be cut off,
but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

A little while and wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.
But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace.