wow.

it amazes me how much God speaks to you when you allow yourself to sit in the silence.
there has been one thing that has continuously bothered me while i've been at college
and i have been in constant prayer about it for a long time now...just praying for it to be clear.
i believe last night was my answer to everything.
i layed my heart and all of my emotions out on the table and nothing came from it.
i feel as though i was having a conversation with myself with no response back.
maybe i wasn't really listening, or maybe i was phrasing things in the wrong way,
either way i don't feel as though they are grounds for not opening up and conversing.
i spent a thirty minute drive in complete silence. do you really have nothing to say to me!?
on top of that, i was at the same house for a few hours and did he try to talk or hang out at all...
OF COURSE NOT THAT WOULD BE CRAZY!
it was such an awkward situation and i was so frustrated at the end of the night.
especially since it was my last night in lexington for awhile...
but i broke down on the way home and just allowed myself to really listen to God speak.
he told me exactly what i knew all along and set me at peace with this answer.
dont get me wrong, i'm very upset still and i care about this person very much.
but i know when it comes down to it, this is not benefiting my relationship with Christ
and it is not his plan for me at the current time.
so although i am not thrilled by what has happened,
i know that Christ has my best interests at heart and where he leads i will follow.

LORD, I WILL GO WHERE YOU CALL ME AND NOT MAKE A PATH OF MY OWN.
KEEP MY HEART SET ON YOU AND NOT ON THINGS OF THIS WORLD.

Oh, tragedy
Has taken so many
Love lost cause they all
Forgot who You were
And it scares me to think
That I would choose
My life over You
Oh, my selfish heart
Divides me from You
It tears us apart
So tell me

What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?

Oh, why do I
Let myself let go
Of Hands that painted the stars
And holds tears that fall?
And the pride of my heart
Makes me forget
It's not me but You
Who makes the heart beat
I'm lost without You
And dying from me
So tell me

What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?

Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful

At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms

So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
'Cause Your love is beautiful
So beautiful

-BARLOWGIRL: BEAUTIFUL ENDING