college!

at this exact moment in my life, i feel extremely blessed.

i just feel so surrounded by Christ

and he has been providing me with the greatest community.

i recently started going to campus outreach

and that has been such an awesome thing.

i've been meeting so many people who are alive in Christ

and truly living their lives for him.

also, i started a small group a couple weeks ago

and God has put some wonderful girls together

to learn about him and grow with each other.

the book we are reading through really just

meets you where you are and has been so helpful

and uplifting.

this week, we talked about prayer and our "quiet time"

with Jesus; what it looks like and how to improve it.

i am truly learning so much about my heart

and who i am in Christ.

he never ceases to blow my mind.

last weekend, i got a new roommate!

she is one of the most beautiful people i have ever met.

she is energetic, funny, and will always tell you what's on her mind.

i have come to appreciate these types of people.

it is much easier to solve a problem when you know what it is.

this week, i have felt more at ease and more myself

than the past month and a half combined.

i cannot wait to see what God has in store for our friendship!

this is the verse i have been reflecting on for the past week

and gaining encourage from. i hope it speaks to your heart (:

Psalm 37:1-11

Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong
for like grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their wicked ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret - it only leads to evil.
For evil men will be cut off,
but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

A little while and wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.
But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace.

you should've seen that sunrise.

people weren't kidding when they said

college is a huge transistion.

they ease you into it

but after the first month,

they slam you with everything.

its hard trying to make friends

and fit in

and find yourself

and study all at the same time.

don't get me wrong,

i'm having a blast.

but its HARD.

i miss my family, my best friends,

younglife, southland

all the things that were such a huge part of my life.

one huge thing that is bothering me...

i have no accountability here.

no one to talk to about what im struggling with.

hardly anyone to discuss Christ with.

its so hard to find solid community.

i thought that i could develop that with my roommate

but boy was i wrong.

we dont even talk half of the time

let alone have deep convos

i dont want to spend my year

walking on eggshells

in my own room!

the situation just really sucks right now

and i dont know how to make it better...

okay time for some good news...

i see great potential for this year

and my relationship with Christ.

i'm learning to rely on Him fully

and be intentional about everything i say and do.

i have to focus on being Christ-like

in every aspect of my life.

even if that means being looked down upon.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galations 1:10

wow.

it amazes me how much God speaks to you when you allow yourself to sit in the silence.
there has been one thing that has continuously bothered me while i've been at college
and i have been in constant prayer about it for a long time now...just praying for it to be clear.
i believe last night was my answer to everything.
i layed my heart and all of my emotions out on the table and nothing came from it.
i feel as though i was having a conversation with myself with no response back.
maybe i wasn't really listening, or maybe i was phrasing things in the wrong way,
either way i don't feel as though they are grounds for not opening up and conversing.
i spent a thirty minute drive in complete silence. do you really have nothing to say to me!?
on top of that, i was at the same house for a few hours and did he try to talk or hang out at all...
OF COURSE NOT THAT WOULD BE CRAZY!
it was such an awkward situation and i was so frustrated at the end of the night.
especially since it was my last night in lexington for awhile...
but i broke down on the way home and just allowed myself to really listen to God speak.
he told me exactly what i knew all along and set me at peace with this answer.
dont get me wrong, i'm very upset still and i care about this person very much.
but i know when it comes down to it, this is not benefiting my relationship with Christ
and it is not his plan for me at the current time.
so although i am not thrilled by what has happened,
i know that Christ has my best interests at heart and where he leads i will follow.

LORD, I WILL GO WHERE YOU CALL ME AND NOT MAKE A PATH OF MY OWN.
KEEP MY HEART SET ON YOU AND NOT ON THINGS OF THIS WORLD.

Oh, tragedy
Has taken so many
Love lost cause they all
Forgot who You were
And it scares me to think
That I would choose
My life over You
Oh, my selfish heart
Divides me from You
It tears us apart
So tell me

What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?

Oh, why do I
Let myself let go
Of Hands that painted the stars
And holds tears that fall?
And the pride of my heart
Makes me forget
It's not me but You
Who makes the heart beat
I'm lost without You
And dying from me
So tell me

What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?

Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful

At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms

So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
'Cause Your love is beautiful
So beautiful

-BARLOWGIRL: BEAUTIFUL ENDING

what can i do but offer my heart completely to you.

wow. God is doing such amazing things in my life right now.

whenever i doubt him, he just provides me with even more than i ask for.

im finding great community at murray already.

people who have this great passion for Jesus

and live to serve Him in everything.

i'm having such a great time learning to depend fully on Christ

instead of depending on Christ through others.

i am so excited for what God is doing right now.

in my life, in others, and in the church.

i dont think it is coincidence that the things i've been hearing and reading

are all about loving Jesus radically and changing the world with that love.

i am so ready to break out of the traditional mold of Christianity

and to just live fully for Jesus Christ.

i miss southland and younglife very much though.

but i know God is blessing both of those organizations so much

and doing great things through the people leading there.

i cant wait to come home and experience the growth that is occuring as we speak!

i know God has placed both of these things in my life for a reason.

although i dont quite know those reasons yet ha

but i'll just stay patient and enjoy the ride for now!

I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT GOD DOES THIS SEMESTER (:

lovealways.

a little update on life;

wow guys. let me just start by saying it has been a crazy/hectic/emotional/chaotic week. i said see you later to a few of my bestest friends in the world and it was one of the hardest things i've ever done. but i know my true friends will always be there when i come home and hopefully write me lots of letters! (:

so saturday morning was move in day! i headed to my dorm around 10am, filled out some paperwork, got my id, got my key and headed up to the 6th floor to check things out. to say the least, i was a bit shocked when i opened the door to my room. it looked NOTHING like the pictures i had. (more like a jail cell!) but after 6 hours of lugging boxes up the stairs, unpacking, and organizing, our little cell turned into a homey little place to live (: (go check out the pics on facebook!)

after getting all settled, we met with our first year leader and had some fun activities planned...

we had a few meetings, a cookout, bingo!, movies, fairs, and last night we got to see a hypnotist!!!! it sounds strange but it was one of the funniest things i've ever seen! ah i loved it.

college life so far is going really well. i'm making new friends everyday and experiencing some independence. also, i finished irresistible revolution and i HIGHLY recommend it to everyone! it was one of the most inspirational books i've ever read. yesterday, i picked up crazy love and i've only read two chapters, but so far i really like it. being "on my own" is a very new, strange experience but i'm definitely learning new stuff about myself and learning to not be so dependent on other people.

well thats all for now friends. hopefully i'll be able to post some more updates at the end of this week. GOD BLESS (:

your name is power, breath, and living water;

can i just tell you how much i am in love with the revelation song! check it out on my music playlist. it rocks my world (:

But anyways...currently i am reading a book called "The Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne and it is all about living radically for Jesus. I don't think it is a coincidence that this is exactly what Southland's new mission is. Something incredible is about to happen/happening in the church. ( and by the church I mean in the global sense) I think it is about time that we all stop living for ourselves and stop playing it safe. Jesus' life was RADICAL. He didn't stay in his house and pray for the poor, he got out and freaking lived with them! He didn't keep a distance from the needy, he didn't hold back from reaching to the lepers of society, he went there! He loved them by reaching out and touching them. He didn't hide the gospel or only tell people what they wanted to hear...instead he told them what they needed to hear...the very thing that would transform their lives. For way too long, we have been shaping the gospel and even Jesus to make Him safe and the exact thing WE want Him to be instead of the person He is! It's time to stop living in the comfort of our "religion". It's time to stop living for ourselves and start living for Jesus. I'm ending the selfishness of myself. All of the hypocrisy I live by daily. I want my life and every aspect of it to reflect Jesus. I don't want anyone I encounter to question where my faith lies. I'm going to live RADICALLY for Christ. Go where He went. Love the way He loved. See people as people instead of the labels society puts on them. I'm sick of living a double-standard. It's about time I make a change. Why would I ever hide the one thing which has saved me, redeemed me, loved me despite my flaws?? My life has changed in more ways that I can count. I am forever grateful and I'm going to live it out with every ounce of my being!!!!

Some quotes I'm loving:

"In the face of the oppressed I recognize my own face, and in the hands of the oppressor I recognize my own hands. Their flesh is my flesh, their blood is my blood, their pain is my pain, and their smile is my smile." - Henry Nouwen

"The true atheist is the one who refuses to see God's image in the face of their neighbor."

"When we look through the eyes of Jesus, we see new things in people. In the murderers we see our own hatred. In the addicts, we see our own addictions. In the saints, we catch glimpses of our own holiness. We can see our own brokenness, our own violence, our own ability to destroy, and we can see our own sacredness, our own capacity to love and forgive. When we realize that we are both wretched and beautiful, we are freed up to see others the same way." - Shane Claiborne


Oh and if you want to hear some amazing stories of forgiveness, start here:
http://www.theforgivenessproject.com/stories/bud-welch

isn't life beautiful?!

for some reason, i'm just in a picture mood today.
these pictures resemble beauty to me at its finest.
the cross, new zealand mountains, flowers, the sky,
the old, the young, and a helping hand.
i hope these pictures speak to your heart and
encourage you to look for beauty in the small things.
thats all for now (:


LOVE ALWAYS.